How to make sure that children have listened and heard
How you communicate matters!
The development of communication skills with children - an important part of parenting. But to talk so that the children listened and heard, it may seem, at best, very difficult, and at worst - just impossible.
If you can easily communicate with your children, your needs as a parent can be met more easily. You believe in yourself and you can talk to your child in a variety of themes, you are the authority for him. Does your child have all the chances of successful communication with you, when he understood all of your words and actions.
Children who grow up in a family with an effective model of communication, seeking to meet their needs adequate means and into adulthood. They grow stronger and more confident. They will be easier to navigate in their friendships and love relationships. In their social life will be less stressful.
And it's only a few arguments why the establishment of their communication skills can be helpful to you and your child.
So, if you are willing to accept this advice and act, then here are the 5 most effective ways to talk to the children so that they really hear you.
to express their request clearly and specifically
It seems obvious, but it's harder than you think. People spend so much time saying "do not do this", "do not do that."
Although it direct requests, but they do not give enough information to the child, so he did what you want from it. Such requests do not speak specifically about the actions that you are waiting for him. In fact, it may even lead to the opposite result.
Try to replace these "do not" specific description of the action:
"Do not touch anything" can turn into "Do not remove hands from his pockets, as we stand in the queue."
"Do not go there" becomes "Stay in the hallway, your sister have to be alone in the bathroom."
"Do not eat in the living room" can sound like "Eat at the kitchen table, please."
Get rid of the uncertainty in the conversation
Children do not understand sarcasm or ambiguity. They need specifics. You are setting yourself up for disappointment, as the child up for failure if you do not say exactly what you want from it. Imagine how difficult it is to please the boss, that does not give any specific guidance.
Children feel the same way listening to vague words and colorful phrases.
For example, "Go out and go do something" - the wording is too loose. Children can go and entertain themselves, but you may terrify their range of activities. More understandable for them to be, for example, such an option, "Go outside and play. You can go cycling or on a swing and you can show off with crayons on the pavement. The choice is yours".
In the same way, your words that you read it "in a moment," do not mean anything to them. Specify them a specific period of time, so they will not feel they have to beg and cling to you to get attention.
Instead of saying "I play with you in a minute", say "I honor you when the pile for the pile of clothes." Instead of "tasty received later," say "when do homework, I'll bake a brownie."
Go from saying "you" to the statement "I"
Parents are very easy to fall into the trap of the pronoun "you." The problem is that the constant focus on the statements of the "you" deprive children of the opportunity to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. Turning to the statement "I am", you teach children how their actions affect others. Such language politely give them the opportunity for a change.
"You make me sick" can be replaced with the phrase "I do not want to play with you, because I do not feel well."
"You're lazy" can turn into "I ask you to remove these blocks of Lego, because I had just stepped on them and it hurt."
"What are you talking about?" Becomes "I do not understand, can you explain again?"
Allow communication to be two-way
Even at the young age, children can engage in dialogue. It is a dialogue allowing them to appreciate their voice and opinion.
In addition, a sense of security in defending themselves and their interests brings confidence. When you allow the communication to be two-way, your children will likely feel safe talking to you.
Adjust their verbal and communication skills, as they are small, and you will provide a more open communication with them later. This will not only help your relationship with your child, but also help your child to fend for themselves in the playground, among friends, and even at work.
No matter how you are tired, upset or excited, kind words - it is a necessity. They demonstrate understanding, love and security. Children who feel all this bloom. They choose the best, they enjoy higher self-esteem and self-confidence.
It will take only a few seconds to say "thank you, you helped me a lot." One kind word can expand the relationship with the child. He sees a pattern of behavior: regardless of the degree of fatigue, it is important to show understanding; even if he made a mistake somewhere, it still love; he is safe in this world more frightening.
Good communication skills - the key to education and healthy relationship with your children.
Not everyone learn good communication skills in childhood, but it is never too late to learn the most. If these skills are not initially got you, practice and do not scold yourself for mistakes. It does not have to be perfect, if something does not work, try again.
Your relationship with the children of this stand.